Watchmen.

So... normally scary or gory movies don't bother me but last night I watched Watchmen. None of us had seen it but knew that it was based on a comic book. Either way, it didn't start out that bad but got worse and worse. It was so dark. I don't know why didn't turn it off... I think we were just trying to figure it out.
I went to bed with, maybe, 5 minutes left in the movie and I tried to shake off everything I had just seen but really couldn't. I woke up at 2:43am from a terrible dream... In the dream a little boy and I were trying to get away from a murderer along with some other people, the place looked like a concentration camp. I remember specifically this little boy and I hiding behind a little shed. We weren't running or in a hurry. We just got behind the shed, I laid down and closed my eyes. We were kind of up on a hill. So this older boy comes by and grabs the little boy next to me. I can feel every movement. The older boys take the younger one in his lap and is saying "look at the beautiful landscape, just look." The little one is crying he knows the older boy is about to slit his throat. I do too. So I wake up. I immediately start praying and I'm trying to decide who I can crawl into bed with. Amy's bed is to small and I won't sleep well. Maggie lets Willough sleep with her so again.. not enough room. I decide to stay in my bed. But I can't just go back to sleep and even though I have whatever verses I can think of running through my mind I still can't shake this terrible, gross feeling I have. So, I turn on my light, flip open my bible and read Isaiah 2. I wasn't really looking for anything to profound or amazing just wanted/needed His words... to see them. So, I read through it and decide to try to lay back down and pray a little calmer this time. As I was praying God revealed to me or had enough grace to let me understand that He is the one that will always be the one to comfort me or give me peace (Yahweh Shalom). Crawling into bed with a roommate or having someone in bed with me wouldn't take away the fear or give me a peace of mind. This is one of those things I've always "known" or told myself or read in a book but God finally told me himself and allowed it to sink into my heart. 
Lately, I've really been struggling with several things but one of the biggest is truly believing that God will provide for me or be there. Then one day I was thinking and I didn't understand why God wouldn't provide. He always has... He's never, never let me down. So, if He says He's going to provide then He will also comfort me... regardless. I don't exactly see God at work in my life right now or feel God right now... but lately that hasn't stopped me from believing His truths. Maybe, that's because His truths are all I have left right now or I'm just tired of believing lies... Either way... just wanted to share all that with you.
It was nice talking to you.