Oh Geez... I had something to say but forgot.

Dang, I totally planned on writing something spectacular but instantly forgot. This happens way more than it should to me. But that's fine. Right now it's snowing outside and I think I love it :)
I'm excited for Christmas. I'm not doing anything but just the fact that it's snowing and Christmas is so close , is exciting. I just saw a guy walk by that had very broad shoulders and a very tiny waist. Anyways, Christmas... it's close. Oh speaking of I still need to get my sisters present. She's the only one I'm buying for this year. Sometimes as I write I wonder if I'm really writing anything of importance and realize that I'm not I'm just writing whatever comes to my mind and that's fun. The guy to my left is talking to someone who is talking in a low voice because I'm sure he's saying stuff that he doesn't want everyone to know BUT I'm still listening. He's really just talking about how he's needing to trust God.
I've started wearing red lipstick and love it. It's really fun to wear and somehow you can do nothing to your eyes and as soon as you have red lipstick on all is well. Huh... who would have know lipstick could be such a lifesaver? Not me, that's for sure. I really want sushi. I think tomorrow I might run away to Chicago for the day to hang out. Get some sushi, watch people, read, blog, shop... yeah that sounds fun. We'll see what happens though.
Huh the guy to my left just asked the guy to his left what he was reading and it was Hebrews and then he asked why he was reading that and his response was "well a lot of junk seemed to hit the fan at once and I just realized that I needed to change some things and here I am getting it done." Kind of a good attitude. God gives you shit, you read His word to help get you through it. Huh... that takes some guts.
Well I have to go I just talked to my friend Brent for a good 10 minutes just now and so now I'm on my way to see Avatar. I have no idea what it is but Kye said I should see it so I'm on my way.
It was nice talking to you.

I met the family I'm nannying for.

And I like them a lot! The boys are super cute and funny. Hunter the oldest has red hair, seems like he could be really sensitive, seems to be rather smart and quite the gentlemen! Hudson the second oldest is very care-free something I noticed as soon as I met him. We had a little question and answer time and the first question he asked is if I was nice, followed by getting up to leave because he realized he needed to turn in his library books, only to return because his mother asked him to not leave until the question was answered. He showed me the basement only to be quickly enthralled by the TV that was left on, leaving me to venture on my own. Grey the youngest has blonde hair, blue eyes and a perfectly round face. He's a baby so not much to him. Except that he can screech very loudly, good for getting your attention :)
Drew and Sara, the parents, are so easy to talk to. They love each other and their kids and that rather obvious. All together seems like a great situation. I'm excited.

Going to meet my family.

So, I'm currently at Starbucks but in 45 minutes I'll be meeting the family I'm nannying for. I'm kind of stoked. I was thinking about how this all happened, and actually why I'm doing it. I love my job here but I've decided to leave. Don't get my wrong it doesn't have the best hours and it's pretty stressful but I don't despise going to work. I'm excited about sleeping normal hours though and actually sleeping at night and not sleeping during the day and missing the entire day and just having a regular schedule. I want to work on stuff for church while I'm doing this. Like maybe start a bible study or first get into a bible study but then maybe have one of my own and they could be high school girls or college girls and I could pour into them. First I need to be poured into. Right now I have no place talking to people about Christ.
Oh this is exciting, tomorrow I'm visiting my sister!! I miss her terribly, and Lillian got her ears pierced so I'm excited to see that and I just really miss Olivia's bossy little diaper butt, and Isabell constantly saying "halie, halie look what I can do" followed by and spin and a huge smile :)
Okay, I'm going to go. It was nice talking to you today.

Talking Agnostic.

I'm yet to decide if the title is right but for now let's get to what I want to say. Last night at work a fellow co-worker and I were discussing homosexuality which let to her telling me she was agnostic which led to me telling her I was a christian which then led to a discussion that lasted for 3 hours. I think the funniest thing about this conversation was that it ended in us deciding to get coffee so we can further the conversation and I realized that this week I've had more conversations with non-christians about Jesus than I have fellow christians. That's the way it's supposed to be right?

Sunday Mornin'

Well... it's Sunday morning... well 10:30. Not exactly morning but it'll work. Anyways, woke up and decided I should come here and blog a little, kind of like journaling I guess. I'm excited(ish) for church today. I might be able to see Sue and I think that'll help. I'm not exactly following Jesus right now and the thing that sucks is I know why. Well it's not that I'm not following Him at all it's just been a weird past couple of months. I like being here and drinking tea it makes me feel kind of normal, except for the conversation going on behind me... it's kind of weird. The girl 3 seats to me left has lips like Angelina Jolie... that's weird too. A really tall girl just hugged a really short girl. I need to leave for church. So, I think I'll come back after church.

peace out.

-Sauce-

later...
So, church was good. Kind of one of those sermons where everything that was said was very relevant to my life. Today I've super been struggling with not being dependent on people. I feel let down by a friend simply because they did not text back but I also know I expect a lot of him and so many of my securities are dependent on how he responds to me. Which sucks because I know that he is not the one to fulfill me and I need Christ more than ever right now but I am not calling out to Him but to the other him. It all seemed to spiral downward so fast. It was as if one breath I'm trusting Christ and yet with the next I couldn't even muster His name. This morning Pastor Whipple asked what we were scared of? I think I'm scared of being let down by Him, scared to put Him first and let Him down maybe. I know I want to be able to call on Him not only in the bad but especially in the good. I have these desires but nothing ever comes of them. It's as if something is there that's in the way and I just can't seem to get it. For some reason I can't put Christ first. I love Him and desire Him, you would think that would be enough to keep fighting. I'm definitely scared to keep fighting and receive nothing in the end. Maybe that's because sometimes I do fight for something and it gets thrown back in my face as if I'd messed up and I'm just told well you really just shouldn't of done that and now you know. With my parents I feel as if I will never be enough. I know I'll never make enough money to please them and God help me if I ever decide to get married. Okay, now this is getting silly...

The Beginning.

Well here we go... blogging. Seems like an adventure.