More of what I hear.

Every time I tell Grayson I'm going somewhere he says to me

"I got with this?"

I think it is absolutely hilarious.

Grayson walking up the driveway carrying his wagon says to no one in particular
"I'm so tough"

Also yesterday I told Gray he was a boy. He looks at me and says "No I'm a man."

Call me crazy.

Crazy please call me.
I'm writing this for my own good.


1 Peter 1:13-21
¹³Therefore, preparing your minds for action,^[a] and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. ¹⁴As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance, ¹⁵but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,¹⁶since it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy." ¹⁷And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one’s deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, ¹⁸knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, ¹⁹but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. ²⁰He was foreknown before the foundation of the world but was made manifest in the last times for the sake of you ²¹who through him are believers in God, who raised him from the dead and gave him glory, so that your faith and hope are in God.


Have you ever been lonely and clung to the wrong person when they came along?
I hope you say yes because right now I know that what I'm doing is wrong and never have I seen my flesh fail in this way and have a fear that it won't be understood.
To some it may not be that big of a deal but it's made me sick to my stomach for days now. 
I'll make the story quick.
I met a guy outside of a bar several months ago. We had a lot in common. He wasn't all that good lookin' but it was nice to talk to someone that had the same been raised on a farm and understood that life. We exchanged numbers and only texted that night a little and the next day until I completely stopped texting him because he wasn't a christian or the type of guy I should get involved with.
He texted me last week. I didn't have his number so when I saw the number I asked who it was and when he told me I responded with "it's been awhile.." We talked a little more that night but not really at all the next day until 10pm when I was sitting in my CPR class and I texted him. Bad choice. Still can't tell you why I did it. We continued to texted back and forth. I knew every morning and night I would get something from you whether it was a "sleep well" or a "I hope you have a good day." Followed later in the day by a  "How was your day?" Unfortunately I looked forward to these texts knowing in my heart that he had one thing in mind. To ask me out and then get me into bed… he'd done it once he was going to try it again.  So… he did end up asking me out and I said no because well I really didn't have time for it but also I could NOT do that to myself. Either way… I did almost say yes to dinner with him and I'm scared out of my mind that I will actually say yes next time. 
That's all I have to say for now. 

I've got spots.

Grayson likes to call my freckles "spots" and he LOVES to find them.
Today he came to me with his arm held out to me and said
"I have Halie's spot."
I looked at his arm and there was a very tiny freckle :)
so we searched for more spots and didn't find any.

Things I hear.

Maggie: Grayson you need to sit on you bottom.

Grayson: I've been sitting all day.

Halie: Grayson when will you use the potty?

Grayson: I have a diaper.

Halie: you should use the potty though.

Grayson: HALIE. I'm only two. (holds up 3 fingers)

Halie: Ya you should start using the potty. You're a big boy.

Grayson: oh… (ponders what I've just said and the discussion was dropped)

Struggles.

Have you ever seen something on this earth and thought about how that whatever it is won't be in heaven and you're slightly dissapointed? 

This one may not be for everyone but whatever.

Okay so here's my thinking... I have no idea what heaven is like but I know what earth is like. 

I like to sit outside, drink coffee and have sun pour over me. I like to listen to classical music and wear high heels. I like to be with friends and hold babies and cook and clean.... and I think... will I miss this in heaven? What will we do in heaven? It kind of scares me... Do you hear me God? I'm scared!

the thought of being in heaven "forever" scares me... I mean what is forever? That's a long time. What if I don't get into heaven? Like I try to do everything right down here but just can't quite do it? 

I'm not freaking out simply writing down thoughts I have... 

Honestly I think the thing being put before me now is to mentally give everything up on this earth and let myself become a stranger here.

Sure enjoy the sunlight, horses, music and friends but long more for Christ. It's not something that makes me sad it's something that makes me nervous because I know the things here and I don't know the things of heaven... if that makes sense. Either way.. be praying :)

The things I hear...

"Halie?"
"Yes Grayson..."
"I'm just a man. Sometimes I just got to work."

Isn't this adorable?